Do Table Manners Still Matter in Today's Busy World?

By Anneliese Howard

When I look back on my childhood in the 80s, one memory that stands out is our family dinners. Gathered around the dining table, these moments were about much more than just food. They were life lessons in the making, teaching me how to use cutlery, engage in meaningful conversation, and, perhaps most importantly, exhibit proper table manners. I vividly recall a time when my youthful impatience led me to express my irritation about hearing my father's daily work stories repetitively. That was a quick lesson in the importance of courtesy.

Fast forward to today's society, and it seems that these cherished family meals are becoming increasingly rare. With both parents often working long hours, children's afternoons packed with organized activities, and everyone engrossed in their technological devices, the tradition of sitting down for family dinners, complete with conversation and a lesson in table etiquette, is in decline.

The Current State of Family Dining

Statistically, the decline in family meals is evident:

1. Frequency: Only half of Australian families sit down to weekly dinners at a table, showcasing a significant shift away from traditional family dining.
2. Tech Intrusion: More than half of families now eat dinner while watching TV at least once a week, highlighting the encroachment of technology into mealtime.
3. Unconventional Dining: A surprising number, about a third of young adults aged 18 to 24, admitted to eating dinner in bed once a week, a far cry from the formal dining etiquette of the past.

As someone who has spent three decades working in the hospitality industry, I've had ample opportunities to observe children's table manners—or often the lack thereof. It's disheartening to note that children with proper manners and dining knowledge have become the exception rather than the rule. Simple acts of politeness, like thanking the server for delivering a meal, knowing how to arrange cutlery when finished, and engaging in meaningful conversation at the table, are becoming increasingly rare.

However, it's essential to remember that children aren't to blame. They follow the example set by the adults around them, and if those adults are unfamiliar with proper table manners, it perpetuates a cycle of ignorance. It's unfair to expect food and beverage staff to step in and enforce basic dining decorum, such as asking children to be seated or not make a mess.

The Importance of Teaching Table Manners

So, what exactly should we be teaching our children about table manners? Here's a concise list:

1. Posture and Utensils: Encourage sitting up straight and using cutlery correctly.
2. Patience: Teach children to wait for everyone to receive their meal before starting to eat.
3. Gratitude: Instill the habit of saying thank you to the person who has prepared or served the meal.
4. Basic Etiquette: Stress the importance of chewing with mouths closed and refraining from speaking with food in one's mouth.
5. No Elbows: Enforce the "no elbows on the table" rule to maintain a neat and respectful dining environment.
6. Finishing Gracefully: Teach children to put their cutlery together to indicate they've finished eating.
7. Consideration: Encourage not leaving the table until everyone has finished their meal.

From my extensive experience, I firmly believe that it's crucial to take children out and educate them about dining in a restaurant setting. Exposing them to this experience not only provides an opportunity for practical learning but also reinforces the importance of respectful behavior in a public space.

In conclusion, table manners may seem like a relic from the past, but they hold enduring value in today's fast-paced world. Proper dining etiquette is about more than just rules; it's a reflection of respect and consideration for others. As parents and responsible adults, we have the power to pass down these valuable lessons to the next generation, ensuring that they not only enjoy their meals but also navigate the world with grace and courtesy. So, let's make an effort to bring back the family dinner table and the valuable life lessons it holds.